I wrote these two poems in August 2018 – one week apart. They address the same subject of mental health and suicide. The first is from the perspective of the person with mental depression who despite all the efforts of others, is having to ‘walk alone’. The second is from the perspective of the friend or family member who will never let the other ‘walk alone’ as they walk with them on their journey.
I Walk Alone
Overcast with sunny breaks. Cloudy. Cloudy skies with rain.
Dawn of a new day – and more of the same. More pain.
The colour of life is gray. Different shades of gray.
Long ago, there were bright colours. No more. Such is my night and day.
There are people. People who care and for whom I care. Yet…
I cannot connect. I reach out and touch but cannot feel. I want to…
People reach toward me with love and compassion. Yet…
I can sense but cannot truly be reached. They are sad. I am loved but all alone.
I remember what it was like so very, very long ago. Two different lives.
It was good. There was joy and hope. There is no longer joy and little hope.
False hope with drugs to blur the gray days and the pain of life as is.
Deep inside with no way out. Gray days. Dark days.
This is all there is. Depression. No joy. No hope. I walk alone.
I Walk with You
I cannot be inside you, fixing what is wrong
But you know I am beside you, as you walk along
I am either friend or family, not hurting as you do
But struggling with your battle, wanting it over for you.
In this world of colour, I can’t imagine every day as gray
I try to bring some sunshine and include you as I pray
I know you think I’m crazy but I do admire your strength
Even as I reach out to you, while you keep me at arm’s length
I see the pain in your eyes and sense it in your touch
I know there’s days not so bad; most others not as much
I thank you for your trust and sharing as you deal with what you’ve got
Always know I am right beside you whether you’re liking it or not
You have given me your friendship and made a difference along the way
No matter where you’re going or how you get there, I love you everyday
I wish I could restore the joy and hope, and bright colours that shine so true
But most of all don’t feel alone; we are holding hands as I walk with you.