I wrote this poem in February 2023 following a move of a victim of intimate partner violence. During this move as the woman was thanking the move team for our efforts, she spoke of how during the move she had phoned her sister and said “I am free, I am free”. We were all choked up and once again, we were reminded of the vital support we were provided to those making very difficult decisions in the face of life-long abuse.
It’s been a long time yet feels so much longer
Stepping out from the shadows, I already feel much stronger
I look back at my life and where it went all wrong
And at the choices I made to survive and play along
Beginning with passion and high expectations
I fully believed in the love behind our declarations
Committed to each other for the rest of our life
Safe and healthy together in the face of all strife
Yet it did not take long for my hopes to be dashed
I was never enough and my efforts were all trashed
I lived with the feeling that life was all of my fault
With only glimpses of the promise, the spiral would not halt
The walls of my life got even higher, becoming my jail
I hid in shame with the hope that love would prevail
Alone and exhausted I would cry myself to sleep each night
And say a prayer each day for strength and a new light
My brain and my heart both finally aligned one day
With the choice to move forward and to break away
Even with that, there were plans to be made
Without tipping my hand and setting off a grenade.
I felt like a prisoner making plans for escape
Living with the fear that alone it would not take shape
I reached out for help and a hand to get over the wall
And with that strength, found the needed wherewithal
Yesterday was like living on the edge of a cliff
Still facing the unknown and the question of IF
If I could step into the future away from my past
And find strength in my faith to remain steadfast
Today I awoke with the sun in my eyes
No longer crying and looking to the skies
A word of thanks for the strength given to me
I could now celebrate as I am now free.