I wrote this poem in September 2020 following news of the death by suicide of a young woman who had been battling mental health issues and anorexia. I wrote this poem for her mother, a person who I met while volunteering with Ronald McDonald Family Room at CHEO and a person who spoke many times of the gratitude she had for her daughter being in her life.
I am in the moment and the pain is so intens
There is absolutely no logic and it makes no sense
My baby’s struggle has ended on a journey way too short
May peace be with her evermore as God’s plan we could not thwart.
I can’t describe the ache, nor the sharp daggers to my soul
She was part of my life, and in so being, made it whole
Even with her recent passing and the comfort of a battle complete
The emptiness within me of dreams unfulfilled leaves me feeling beat.
As tears roll down my face and darkness clouds over the sun
The pain of missing heartbeats signals the loss of my loved one
My body heaves with sadness as my arms embrace the frame
The frame that holds her smile forever; life will never be the same
Of course, life has never been the same since I first held her in my arms
Her laughter and the joy she brought were only part of her charms
And even in the recent years as life’s battle turned really tough
She showed her strength and character; if only they’d been enough
My dear and loving Sophie is now in heaven and amongst the stars
She has her wings and will soar forever; waiting until we get ours
I will always feel the pain of her passing; that will never go away
Yet I have the gratitude for our life together and thank God as I pray.